Even though my life has changed dramatically in the last two weeks its not a change I could control. It happened whether I wanted it to or not. I have issues with control. I like to know exactly what is going on at all times. To feel like the decisions I make end with a solution I can live with. The solution to my changes is not something I want to live with but its something I have to live with.
I am having an urge for a change I can control. Cut my hair, get a new wardrobe, move furniture around. I have had the urge for the last week. To do something that makes sense to me. So I decided to move the office around. I can barely even go in my dad's office to clean, much less work. I fell all closed in and suffocated in there. It's just too hard. I thought "lets just leave it the way it is". Thats way to impractical for my mind though, and we kind of need the space. So my office partner is going to be moving into that office, his wife/secretary is taking my desk out front, and I am taking his front office. That will leave one office (that really doesn't have a reliable phone connection) open for a conference room. We have wanted a space for a while that was uncluttered to meet with clients to go over policies and have teenagers watch a discount video without distraction. That will be the perfect room.
Our other problem is our desks. We have half working desks through much of the office. The legs are broken and propped up. Dad's desk wasn't even his. It was our office partners, the one who is going to start using his office. My old desk is in his wife's office so that one is going to go bye bye. It is an old yucky metal one that if you are not careful can dump your monitor on the floor if you accidentally move it. I am going to get a new desk that has more storage for that room. We have already started to recover some of our waiting chairs and will finish that up as well.
Last month we finally got dad to agree to updating the office a little bit at a time. Paint was the first thing. During the Thanksgiving holiday Dad, the boys and I painted the front office a pretty antique linen color. It has a tint of green to it and it looks great with black picture frames. I was going to take pictures of our town to frame and put up, then my camera broke, so that will have to wait till after taxes too. I am going to go to TJ max and get some of their plant stands I got for my house, that were really inexpensive, for some of our plants at the office. Some of the plants I got from the funeral are going to be perfect for the office.
That is the change that I have decided to make. Its something I can completely control and even have fun doing. It will be a good way to clean and reorganize so my brain can deal with the chaos. Is it too sudden? Is there something wrong with me to feel this way?
The change starts today. Wish me luck.
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On to other things.
Before my father passed away I actually finished my knk projects. I never get them done all at once. While I don't really have the urge to scrap I did share my layouts at Kit N' Kaboodles last night. So here are two of my layouts!
I really like this months kit. These pages came together quite quickly. There are fantastic embellishments this month that made it soooo easy!!
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Tonight we are celebrating. My 'step mom', my kids, my step brother and his wife and I are meeting at our regular happy hour restaurant (and my dad's favorite) to celebrate one week of living. Of living our new normal life (as my mother said). Its been a hard week. Lots of crying, hugging, but lots of smiles too.
